Every once in a while I look back on my hopes and dreams of the past and get an epiphany, of sorts, which makes me realize that things often do work themselves out, regardless of the road you take.
You see, I always thought I wanted to be a teacher. I have always loved being around and working with young children. And yet, for some reason or another I didn’t go into teaching and opted to study Early Childhood Education, and Child & Youth Care instead.
I worked in a few different preschools, always managing to become the head preschool teacher, but I was never truly happy. During those glum years I often thought owning my own preschool was the answer to my happiness. However that particular dream didn’t happen either, for during the same time frame I also had my sights on having my own children. The process of which took a lot longer than anticipated, with quite a few heartaches and road blocks along the way. Eventually, however, my wish for children was granted. And almost seven years later I am still “momming”.
It was never ‘my dream’ to be a stay-at-home-mom, it just kind of happened. Sure it was a discussion my husband and I had (his own Mom was a SAHM), but we always said we would just take it year by year while reviewing our financial situation…and my state of mind, along the way.
The decision to homeschool our children has also put a whole new twist on staying at home. It comes with a lot more responsibility… and a whole lot more work. However, to me the benefits of continuing homeschool far outweigh the negatives, and the further we get into it the longer I wish for my children to stay the course (so to speak).
So I guess the question is, am I truly happy now? I can’t say my ‘job’ over the last seven years has been easy. There have definitely been days where I wish I could just walk away and quit. There have been days full of tears, days where I want to run and hide, and days where I am literally pulling my hair out. So while I can’t say I have loved and enjoyed every single second of being at home with my children 24/7, I can say that I am truly grateful I am still able to be right where I am. So yes, I truly am happy!
And what makes me even happier is finally realizing that in a roundabout way I am doing exactly what it is I always thought I wanted to do. No I don’t have a degree in teaching, nor am I getting paid…but, I honestly feel I get the best of both worlds. I get to be my child’s teacher, but I don’t have to deal with the politics of the school system; I don’t have anyone telling me when I can or can’t take holidays; I can work in my pajamas if I feel like it; I don’t have a boss…well, my 6 and 3 year-old can sometimes make it feel like I do; ;) and, the best part is I still get to stay at home with my children!
At the moment I honestly can’t think of a better job suited for me!